Post workout. Nailed it.
Hammered a 275lbs squat today. Felt good gettin back in the swing of it. #getsome #legday #bodybuilding #double #theman #goodlife
Gettin to lookin good. #bodybuilding #batman #fitness #stoked #beard #tattoos #rumspringer #cheddarcheesechangals
Just fucking let me die.
It’s 4am and everything feels heavy except for my eyes. My heart is lead pumping poison into my veins I live in a fog that has consumed my brain. All I think about is you constantly reminded of everything you said we’d do. Being together for ever we had some plans me and you. And now it’s just me and I can’t remember how to stand my crutch is a splintered stick I hold with one hand. When I put my weight on it it slowly cracks just a little more. Everytime I think I can’t get any further you beat me down again and again I’m gonna end up on my face I’m gonna end up dead. I can feel this killing me first emotionally moving to mentally after that it’s the physical manifestation of this pain that I can’t escape or push off my chest. No matter how hard I push or breath no matter how hard I struggle and how many people are there to help. It’s just getting heavier and heavier I feel my ribs giving way. All I ever wanted was for you to keep all the promises you made me. But you can’t even be honest when you tell me you love me. I can see in your eyes I wasn’t the dream you had for your life I just filled that gap between it all until I crumbled. Because your weight was over my capacity no matter how hard I fought you just pushed down more ontop. If I give you the knife do you think you could slit my throat? Cause I don’t know if I got it in me to end this all alone. Just do me this favour and help me release and finally just let go. Of the cliff I’ve been holding onto deciding if I should pull up or Jump off it’s a life or death decision and it’s really tough. I’m torn between my heart and my mind and I don’t believe theres any love left for my soul to find.